Stop Following The Rules!

September 14th, 2011 by Jennifer Grainger

During the last week of August a major energetic shift took place on planet Earth. I just happened to be in Hawaii at the time visiting my friends Susana and Richard. Richard and Susana

I didn’t know there was a major astrological butt-kicking cosmological event taking place at the time, so I attributed the HUGE inner awakening I experienced to the fact that I was in Hawaii, which is known for its powerfully sacred energy, and also spending quality time with Susana.

I had arrived in Hawaii with an intact view of my life, but within a few days I noticed I had mentally accumulated a few additional puzzle pieces with no idea where they fit in. The word for this is confusion, a very high spiritual state of consciousness, so I am told!

Just because I know that my consciousness is always expanding doesn’t mean it is easy to dismantle what had been a perfectly good view of reality so I can make room for new information.

New information almost always means having to change something! Which means being in that void space for a while . . . no longer being where I was, and not yet knowing where I am going!

You see, Susana is one of the very few people I know who has made the evolutionary leap out of victim consciousness into complete self-responsibility for how she experiences life’s events. She views every less-than-wonderful experience as an opportunity for growth. She, and my daughter Kaydee, have been guiding lights for me in how to break free of the soul-sucking quicksand of victim consciousness.

Woven among our vacation activities of great meals, karaoke, touring North Shore delivering boxes of food to the less fortunate with the Hawaii Morehouse Community group, and taking an ocean dip at sunset, were very deep conversations in which Susana and I mirrored to each other unconscious beliefs and behaviors that were sabotaging our efforts at creating what we say we want.

Some of Susana’s perceptions of me painfully poked at cherished, heretofore unexamined values of what it means (to me) to be a good person. Her values seemed so at odds with what I thought a good person would embody.

I was shocked to recognize that my first thoughts were at the level of  “who is right and who is wrong.” (That is such victim mentality!) Worse I found myself labeling and judging Susana as being “wrong.” This only added to my confusion because my admiration for how fearlessly Susana walks her talk had led me to hold her in very high regard as a model for my own journey.

Once I was consciously aware of the labeling and judging I was doing, (and forgiving myself for such “lowly” behavior) I was lifted into a higher state of consciousness in which I was “told” that this was an opportunity for me to step more fully into my authentic self by turning inward, connecting with my own inner compass and sorting out what is true for me, what this event was asking me to become, and expanding my awareness/consciousness of how I interact with life.

I left Hawaii knowing I needed to sit with the confusion and allow the information to unfold in its own time.

It didn’t take long.

I “saw” how my mother and her mother, and all the women in my lineage for that matter, had navigated the centuries of the oppression of women through self-effacing behaviors that may have made their lives safe and tolerable, but which were BIG obstacles to me stepping into my authentic self and living my life On Purpose today.

These out-dated coping behaviors, buried in my subconscious mind as unexamined, limiting beliefs, showed up in my everyday life as “good manners” and “being polite.”

Wow! What hogwash when seen in the light of day!

When I fully saw how this had been operating in my life, I shifted. And as I shifted on the inside, my exterior life immediately shifted, too.

That’s how it works. The inner matches the outer. Change the inner, and the outer changes, just like magic.

Here is one of the big things that changed.

Some of you know that over a year ago I’d been guided to make space in my home for a housemate so I could develop community living skills. The space stood empty all this time, with not so much as a nibble.

Yet, as soon as I arrived home from Hawaii, there was an email from someone in my spiritual community who was looking for a room to rent. Wow! That space had stood vacant for a year and “all of a sudden” someone was interested.

I sent a reply saying I had a room for rent. That was at 10:30 on a Wednesday night. We met the following evening for an “interview,” and he moved in the following night.

Boom! Just like that. Apparently I needed to make this internal shift to be ready for this next phase of my journey.

BOTTOM LINE: It is our unconscious, limiting beliefs that are running the show. They are the source of what springs forth in our everyday lives. There are many ways in which we come to have these beliefs. Most have been programmed by our family, our culture, and the decisions we make about life as we experience upsetting events. And some people believe (I am one of them) that many of our unconscious, limiting beliefs are brought forth from past lives and the accumulated “wisdom of how life is” from our ancestral heritage. From these spring forth the Rules that drive our behaviors that create our lives.

TIP: Unconscious, limiting beliefs are nearly impossible to uncover on your own. Having a skilled friend who has transcended victim consciousness, and who is willing to hold the mirror for you, and whom you trust enough to hold your confidences, is a precious gift. If you don’t have someone in your life that fits that description, you can hire me as your coach and I will gently, but stalwartly hold the mirror for you, and then guide you through the shifting process and see you safely through to the other side.

P.S. The way you know if someone has transcended the hell of victim consciousness is that they no longer see life as happening “to them,” but as life happening “through them.” You will never hear them blame others, or life itself as the source of distress. They take full responsibility for how they experience the less-than-wonderful events in their lives. Blame and judgment are no longer part of their reality. They will have transcended the duality of “right/wrong” thinking into the higher state of oneness consciousness that harmonizes with life, rather than judges life as it unfolds for them.

So how is it going for you? Are you living the life of your dreams? How are you doing in transcending victim consciousness? I’d love to hear from you! Leave your comments below. I’d love to hear what limiting beliefs you are uncovering in your life!

Love and light,

Jennifer

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