Don’t be afraid to be called selfish

August 24th, 2008 by Jennifer Grainger

The concept of selfishness comes from a time when survival of a tribe or community required that every member of the tribe be loyal to the leader who was in charge of their safety. Children were trained at an early age to “not be selfish.” It was a matter of life or death. Either fit in, or be banished, where certain death awaited. Though the fear of being judged as selfish remains deep in our psyche, the actual reality today is that being perceived as selfish is NOT a life-threatening event.

Do you notice yourself modifying your behavior to avoid being called selfish? The bad news is that as long as you let someone outside yourself call the shots of how you are going to act, there is very little room for your authentic self to be expressed.

A stunted authentic self serves no one.

What if the greatest gift you give to your loved ones and the world is for you to have a life that works? Imagine having a life that is joyful and struggle-free. Imagine living your life from the inside out, following the call of your heart and soul, living your passion, fulfilling your purpose! Doesn’t that sound great? Someone needs to be the first in a group to model being authentic, saying yes only when it enlives them to do so, and saying no because the requested action is not aligned with who they truly are.

The next time you are called selfish for honoring your self with an authentic “no,” I encourage you to smile and say “thanks for noticing. I am working really hard at having a life that works so that we can ALL be happier!”

What do you think? How does the concept of selfishness show up in your life?

I’d love to hear your response.

Love and light,


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